Jay
Hello all!
I know it's been a long time since I've posted here, but I have some exciting news that-- I am almost certain-- will make you forgive me.
Most of these past few weeks, Desi and I were in India on a life-changing mission. We were there to bring home our little boy, Jay.
Jay is a pert, happy six-year-old who likes singing to himself, drawing, and striking up conversations with people, even those who he barely knows or barely understands (he doesn't speak much English right now). His past two years were spent in an orphanage in Mumbai, India (also my city of birth) and we have known for several months now that he is destined to spend the rest of his life as our son.
We met Jay for the first time on October 23rd-- our only interaction with him before this had been fortnightly phone calls to the orphanage when he'd recite poems he'd learned at school for us in his tiny voice and ask us "to put a lock on the house and come here to pick me up." When we did finally meet him, we felt like we already knew him. And he was happy to embrace us wholeheartedly -- although we were not picking him up that day because of more pending paperwork, he informed us that he had his bag all ready and packed to go.
We picked Jay up five days later-- after a whirlwind visit with my family and Desi's -- and spent a week getting to know him in Delhi, India's capital city, while we waited for his immigration-related medical tests and visa. We landed home in Washington on Nov. 6th, and after some jet lag and motion sickness blues Jay has taken swimmingly to his new life. He loves his new room, the kids next door-- Wesley and Lydia -- and his new school (he started Wednesday this week and can't wait to go each day). He loves it when I read to him before bed every night, and he has even already mastered the alphabet in a few short days, thanks to Desi's intrepid tutoring (they don't speak a common language, by the way. Jay came from Bombay speaking only Marathi-- a language I do speak, but Desi doesn't).
One of the things that Desi and I swore to do when we adopted Jay was to ensure that he would grow up with compassion and love in his heart for all animals, and Jay has embraced this idea wholeheartedly despite initial reservations (one of the first things he told us on phone was he was afraid of dogs). But flexible as children are, he cottoned to the idea of befriending big brother Opie, not least because he realizes just how much his parents love the fluffy, golden creature. Opie-- used to being the master of the house for 12 years now--has been just a tiny bit resistant, but we are making progress on that front and the boys are now friendly enough that Opie will eat from Jay's hand and tolerate a few gentle strokes of his fur. On walks, Jay gets excited about every animal he sees, pointing out squirrels and excited to pet outdoor cats that will walk up to him and rub their heads against his tiny legs. The other night he saw a deer -- his first sighting -- trotting through the neighborhood after sundown, and was incredibly excited.
The post adoption period has been a bit of a roller coaster as we all settle into our new, vastly changed lives, and that's one reason it's taken me more than a week to get this post up. It is not a honeymoon, as one can expect with an older child, and I won't lie that it is. There are ups and downs and lots of emotional struggles, but there are also moments of fun and great love. In the end, we know we can make this work.
As Jay settles into his new life, one of the things I've been trying to do, to smooth his transition, is cook for him the foods he loves and remembers. Shraddhanand Mahilashram, the orphanage that he called home, served a basic, vegetarian meal to the children every day made usually of rice, dal, rotis, sabzi (a vegetable side dish) and buttermilk. Foods like Kande Pohe and idlis were often served for snacks and breakfast. So even as we slowly introduce him to new foods that he's never had before (and it's a struggle, I admit), I am trying to keep his main meals focused on the familiar, at least for now.
I'll leave you now with photos of the beautiful children at Shraddhanand Mahilashram having lunch, a joyful, noisy affair with all the kids speaking at once and three or four caretakers serving or feeding the younger children. And I promise to be back in a jiffy with a new recipe. Hugs!
The older children at the orphanage sit down together for lunch. The youngest ones are fed by caretakers.
Lovely faces
Jay with friends and one of the caretakers at the orphanage.
Lunch is a happy but messy -- and noisy -- affair at the orphanage.
Kalpana Lloyd-Jones
Hi Vaishali,
Today Sunday morning my heart is warmed with the news of your adoption of Jay, while my body is warmed sipping a warm home made kaadha. I am very happy for you and your family and of course for Jay. I am wondering if you will raise him Vegan too since you are a Vegan. That could be yet another big gift to Jay and to our world .Also I would be sharing some of your beautiful Vegan recipes on Facebook with my friends. I have only seen the carrot pudding for breakfast recipe as I have just found your website. Do you have another website where you share about Jay? Stay blessed you and Desi and Jay and your four legged friends. I wonder how difficult is it to adopt a six year old vs a new born? I would like to read if you have shared this somewhere. Best wishes to you and your family. Keep thriving. I admire your courage and your generosity. And hoping and praying for the best for all of you.
Sasi
I saw this post just now.. feeling emotional. I would say only thing that you are great this is from bottom of my heart as people will talk a lot about things but no one try to do it ... including me. God Bless you all. Hope you are enjoying a lot.
Cynthia Rodrigues Manchekar
I see that I've dropped by your post over 8 months later, and I'm so happy to read about your little boy. God bless your little family. I'm so happy you guys found each other. As one of my favourite song goes, Now there's three (the song says two) less lonely people in the world."
claireatchezcayenne
I am just now seeing this. Congratulations to you all! I'm so glad you and Desi and Jay found each other.
samvaadhini
Hi Vaishali, I came back to look for recipes after a looong time and saw something about jay...had to search through to find this post 🙂 What a wonderful adventure for all of you!
Kay
Congrats Vaishali!!! Reading this post made me very emotional. Wishing you 3 the best...
I wish other kids in the Ashram end up in a great parents like you.
Eveline
Hi, I stumbled upon your blog by accident. And a happy accident that was. Being vegan (that's how I ended up here) but also being a mom of two beautiful boys, both adopted, I completely understand the rollercoaster you went through. I will keep on following this blog and will try out your recipes.
Wishing you all the best, all the way from the Netherlands, Eveline
sravanthi
Vaishali, I have been following your blog for many years and have tried many of your recipes.I love the way you write . Love your posts about dogs and many..I was all in tears after reading this post.
Wish you good luck for the courage you people have. Thank You 🙂
Hetal
I have been a long time silent reader of your blog and tried a lot of your recipes !!
Congratulations Vaishali and Desi and Jay, He is a cute little man ! Your post brought tears to my eyes. Wish you a lifetime of happiness, joy and fullfilment ! I would also like to support Shraddhanand in any way I can.
Omar
What a lovely post! I ran across your blog for the first time when I was looking for a Rogan Josh recipe and quickly saved some links for other dishes I would like to try. I am a meat eater but do like to have meatless meals. Wishing your continued success with the blog and best of luck to you and your family.
Golda
Congratulations Vaishali! How wonderful for all of you. Your post made me relive our adoption story. Our little girl is 11 now, and taking over the world!
shankari
Vaishali, Desi & Jay- Congratulations on becoming a family. We are a family of adoption as well and all I can say is you are lucky to have found each other. I had tears of joy for Jay and more tears seeing all the little kids in your picture. I wish we could adopt them all and our system and procedures made this a wee bit easier. Be blessed.
Anuradha
Congratulations, Vaishali! And a warm hug to Jay. I'm just a reader of your blog in a distant land but exclaimed with delight when I read your post. Your deed and words struck a gord and I wish you all the very best. I wish we could all support every child in this world.
Aarti
RESPECT...
Wish you and your family the very best