Jay
Hello all!
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here, but I have some exciting news that– I am almost certain– will make you forgive me.
Most of these past few weeks, Desi and I were in India on a life-changing mission. We were there to bring home our little boy, Jay.
Jay is a pert, happy six-year-old who likes singing to himself, drawing, and striking up conversations with people, even those who he barely knows or barely understands (he doesn’t speak much English right now). His past two years were spent in an orphanage in Mumbai, India (also my city of birth) and we have known for several months now that he is destined to spend the rest of his life as our son.
We met Jay for the first time on October 23rd– our only interaction with him before this had been fortnightly phone calls to the orphanage when he’d recite poems he’d learned at school for us in his tiny voice and ask us “to put a lock on the house and come here to pick me up.” When we did finally meet him, we felt like we already knew him. And he was happy to embrace us wholeheartedly — although we were not picking him up that day because of more pending paperwork, he informed us that he had his bag all ready and packed to go.
We picked Jay up five days later– after a whirlwind visit with my family and Desi’s — and spent a week getting to know him in Delhi, India’s capital city, while we waited for his immigration-related medical tests and visa. We landed home in Washington on Nov. 6th, and after some jet lag and motion sickness blues Jay has taken swimmingly to his new life. He loves his new room, the kids next door– Wesley and Lydia — and his new school (he started Wednesday this week and can’t wait to go each day). He loves it when I read to him before bed every night, and he has even already mastered the alphabet in a few short days, thanks to Desi’s intrepid tutoring (they don’t speak a common language, by the way. Jay came from Bombay speaking only Marathi– a language I do speak, but Desi doesn’t).
One of the things that Desi and I swore to do when we adopted Jay was to ensure that he would grow up with compassion and love in his heart for all animals, and Jay has embraced this idea wholeheartedly despite initial reservations (one of the first things he told us on phone was he was afraid of dogs). But flexible as children are, he cottoned to the idea of befriending big brother Opie, not least because he realizes just how much his parents love the fluffy, golden creature. Opie– used to being the master of the house for 12 years now–has been just a tiny bit resistant, but we are making progress on that front and the boys are now friendly enough that Opie will eat from Jay’s hand and tolerate a few gentle strokes of his fur. On walks, Jay gets excited about every animal he sees, pointing out squirrels and excited to pet outdoor cats that will walk up to him and rub their heads against his tiny legs. The other night he saw a deer — his first sighting — trotting through the neighborhood after sundown, and was incredibly excited.
The post adoption period has been a bit of a roller coaster as we all settle into our new, vastly changed lives, and that’s one reason it’s taken me more than a week to get this post up. It is not a honeymoon, as one can expect with an older child, and I won’t lie that it is. There are ups and downs and lots of emotional struggles, but there are also moments of fun and great love. In the end, we know we can make this work.
As Jay settles into his new life, one of the things I’ve been trying to do, to smooth his transition, is cook for him the foods he loves and remembers. Shraddhanand Mahilashram, the orphanage that he called home, served a basic, vegetarian meal to the children every day made usually of rice, dal, rotis, sabzi (a vegetable side dish) and buttermilk. Foods like Kande Pohe and idlis were often served for snacks and breakfast. So even as we slowly introduce him to new foods that he’s never had before (and it’s a struggle, I admit), I am trying to keep his main meals focused on the familiar, at least for now.
I’ll leave you now with photos of the beautiful children at Shraddhanand Mahilashram having lunch, a joyful, noisy affair with all the kids speaking at once and three or four caretakers serving or feeding the younger children. And I promise to be back in a jiffy with a new recipe. Hugs!
The older children at the orphanage sit down together for lunch. The youngest ones are fed by caretakers.
Lovely faces
Jay with friends and one of the caretakers at the orphanage.
Lunch is a happy but messy — and noisy — affair at the orphanage.
Dearest,
I’m so happy for you. I follow your blog for some time now, and love every recipe, even if it’s not quite so easy for me to find all the ingredients here in Brazil.
My husband and I are also planning an adoption in the next four years, of an older child as well, and I wish your family all the best.
I am so happy for you. My fondest memories is always of me and my kids. They are grown now, but I find myself always admiring them from photos when they were young. What a Blessing!
Thanks for the kind words, Paula.
Thanks, Ligia, and wishing you the very best with your adoption– it’s an amazing experience, and gift.
Wow, Vaishali, what wonderful news!! Congratulations to you, Desi, and Jay! I must admit I have missed your posts, but I am so thrilled by what you have been up to! Wishing you the strength to get through all the difficult moments until your son acclimates to his new life and family <3
Thanks, Paula, for your kind words! I am sorry I’ve been slow with the posts, but getting settled in as a first-time mom is even more time-consuming than I thought it would be. 🙂 I will return to a more regular schedule soon!
Hi V. It has been a long time. I was wondering what happened to you. I am so happy for you. Congratulations on your new little man. I wish you all the best. Children are the salt of the earth, and he is so lucky that you are his pillar. Hugs and kisses to all of you.
Hi Mary, many thanks! Children are the salt of earth indeed, and we all feel lucky to have each other. Hugs and kisses back to ya!
Congratulations! And welcome to little Jay. We also adopted a child years ago, and she has brought much happiness and love into our lives. I wish the same for your family. The years will fly by, and you will never regret adding a child (or two or three) into the family. Such happiness!
Congratulations! And a very happy Thanksgiving to you all.
Laura
Thanks, Laura, and so lovely to meet you. We are definitely on board with the happiness, and enjoying having Jay in our lives. 🙂 Happy holidays to you and your family!
Jay is perfectly adorable + you are blessed to have found each other = Love…what an incredible gift! 🙂
Thanks, Demitra, it is indeed. 🙂
Hearty congratulations Vaishali and Desi!!! Lots of love and hugs to Jay. What a awesome news!!!
Thanks, dear Mints.
Wishing your family much joy. Such wonderful news!
Thanks, Joan! 🙂
How exciting for your new adventure! Congratulations!
Thanks, Lauren! 🙂
Congratulations,Vaishali! May you have a lovely life with little Jay.! All the kids in the Ashram look happy Do they accept donaions?Missed your posts and was wondering if you were sick.
regards,geetha.
Thanks, Geetha, for your lovely words. I am pretty certain the ashram accepts donations, but you might want to check with them. If you would like to write to them, shoot me an email at [email protected] and I will send you the info for the social worker we worked with there.
What a wonderful gift for all– I worked with orphans and vulnerable children in Brazil and my heart was always with the older children– everyone wanted the babies and the children remained. It is kind and caring families, like yours, that reach out and offer the gift of love and family to children waiting and dreaming for a family before they age out.
A beautiful read for a Sunday morning. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, dear Natalie. How lovely that you worked with vulnerable children and orphans– they can use all the love and kindness they can get.
It was clear that something was happening in your life, because you are always so faithful in your posts. I am so glad and relieved that it was good things happening In your life! How exciting for all of you. I wish you much joy!
Thanks, dear Donna.
This post brought tears to my eyes. I’m not usually an emotional person but reading about your journey thus far to bring Jay home just made me well up inside. I’m so unbelievably happy for your family and thankful that Jay has a loving home. Oftentimes it is babies, not older children, who are adopted and I’m so glad that Jay has been welcomed into your lives. I’m sure it won’t always be easy but like you said, you’ll make it work. I’m sure it’ll be more than worth it. Best wishes!
Thanks, dear Robin. 🙂
Same here, Robin. I just discovered Vaishali’s wonderful blog last night, and now the beautiful story of Jay.
Vaishali, you are truly a goddess.
Kindest regards to you and Desi and Jay and Opie.
Congratulations. A wonderful journey begins.
Thanks, Judeen.
Vaishali, thank you for this update! I have been dying to hear about your adventure, but I figured that you were probably being bombarded with questions. This is a lovely introduction to your son, and I hope we will hear more about your family.
You are surely changing the world for Jay in an amazing way, and I hope the rewards for you and Desi are just as great. Jay is a brave child, adapting to a very different new life, but it must be like a dream come true for him in spite of the ups and downs.
Please keep us posted. One day soon we will see a photo of Jay happily scarfing up Mexican food or some of the weird stuff that Americans eat. 🙂
Thanks for your kind words, dear Catherine. I’ve tried out pasta with him and he is not thrilled but does try to get some down. Mexican food is definitely next on the list! 🙂
Your email made my day!! Congratulations on bringing your son, Jay, home!! My husband is from India and happens to be in Mumbai as I type this. So many children in need in India!! Jay is one very lucky little boy to have been chosen by such loving parents and to have so many wonderful opportunities in his future. Many blessings to the three of you! Namaste!
Thanks, Sally! 🙂
Hi
I did wonder why the silence. And I am happy to read the great news and have you back. Congratulations and warmest wished as you embark on a new journey
Thanks, Raji! 🙂
Adoptive or biological…all kids can be a challenge. I never knew I had a temper until I had kids! About the time that I learned to let go of a lot of old ideas…my kids were adults. I wish kids came with instructions…instructions suited to their own unique chemistries! Your posts are always so loving and humorous and open….Jay has every chance to become a wonderful, loving and compassionate man. You can’t lose with a peaceful countenance and a warm hug from mom and dad….just go in the closet, close the door and scream once in a while!! Namaste and shanti.
Hi Mary, yes, kids are definitely tough– I generally consider myself pretty patient, but there are days when Jay sets my teeth on edge. 🙂 But as the days go by, and we learn more about each other, I find those times are fewer and farther. It’s never going to be perfect, but like I said, we know how lucky we are and we know we can make it work!
congratulations on the new addition to your family. i am a grandfather, and i have determined that ALL children are someones grandchildren, so i treat them all as mine! please give jay a big hug from edmonton, canada (aka the frozen north.
Hi Kim, what a lovely attitude to have! Your grandkids– and all the kids in your life– are lucky indeed.
Congratulations! What a journey you have undertaken – you and Desi and Jay are so blessed to have found each other in this sea of life.
Blessings on you and yours and thank you for sharing your journey!
Thanks, Guru Karam! 🙂
*Congratulations* to your lovely family…..and thank you for sharing your magnificent news with your *fans*!! ****WELCOME JAY***** – lots of love from Valerie in British Columbia 🙂
Thanks, Valerie! 🙂
I am so very happy for all of you!!! I was wondering what had happened with no posts for so long. So glad
it is this exciting news!! Wishing you the best!!
Thanks, dear Donna! 🙂
Congratulations, Vaishali and Desi – and Jay! Wishing you all the best!
Thanks, Ellen! 🙂
Dear vaishali,
What a wonderful thing that has happened to all three of you. I am 74 now. When I was younger I worked at a hospital where there was a whole floor of children that were not taken home by the mother. I used to spend some of my time
just picking up the babies and holding them. I told myself that I would adopt a dozen of them when i finished my training and settled down.I went on to have two children. now I look back and regret not giving a home for a child .
I admire you both greatly. it takes courage to do what you have done. There will be days when you will be confused as to whether you are doing the right thing. It is no different with biologic children.
I wish you three the very best years ahead. Happy thanksgiving to you and family.
hema
Dear Hema, what a lovely message, and how lucky those children were to have you in their lives, even if for a short while. One thing I’ve learned in recent months is how much these children crave affection. At the orphanage Jay was in, there were some loving caretakers but of course with few resources they don’t have much time to devote to each child individually. We feel lucky to have Jay with us, and yes, we definitely also feel scared at times. But we know things will work out, because the love we already feel for each other is also immense.
Abhinandanam!
May you find Joy and contentment in sculpting and helping this child grow up into a man of character.
This world needs selfless people who serve others without expectation of fruits.
NISHKAAM Karma!
May everything be Shubhasya for everyone!
Congrats! Thanks for sharing that heart warming story with us. I am so happy for your family.
Congratulations to you and Jay! I am a huge fan of The Little Couple (Bravo reality show) who have adopted a boy from China and a girl from India, both “little people.” I recommend it for your family’; you will see similarites, especially when they actually go to China and Mumbai to adopt the kids.
On a different note–do you have a moong dal with either big black or red beans recipe? I can’t find one anywhere. I believe the recipe originates in Gjurat.
Thanks and have fun with your boy!
How wonderful for you all. Blessings on this new part of your lives. Lucky son, lucky family.
What wonderful, happy news! Such a blessing for little Jay to land in your compassionate household, and for you and Desi to experience the joys and love of parenting! Best wishes to you all for great happiness!!
Congratulations!! Wishing you and your new family much joy!
Wow, I admire you! Congratulations on the new addition to your fmaily!
Greetings from Hong Kong! Such a lovely touching story. I have tears in my eyes. You are sho genuine and authentic and I loved your honesty about the adjustment. Thanks shoo much for sharing.
Dear Vaishali, Desi,
Heartiest congrats on the new arrival to your lovely family. May you always have millions of joys and happiness to share. ..and lots of posts and photos .
I am more sentimental after reading your post as we have been supporting Shraddhanand Mahilashram since1982. More blessings for dear Jay from both my son’s as we had made an arrangement for the children to be fed a special meal with a sweet on their birthdays .:)
Bless you all !
Congratulations to you all – and thank you for posting your heart-warming story. I wish you all great happiness, patience and understanding in your new lives. Namaste.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I wish you all much happiness.
I am feeling happy for Jay. God bless your family and you be happy for ever.
Congratulations on the new addition! He’s so adorable and has the sweetest smile. Wishing you and Desi all the very best in this new journey 🙂 On a tangent, this means there will be some kid-centric recipes henceforth!!
As a fellow adoptive mum (my daughter is now nine and we adopted her in China in 2006) I wish you all HUGE congratulations!
I was wondering what happened to you and now I see why you weren’t posting. Congratulations! So happy for you and your family! Welcome to motherhood…it has so many challenges but twice as many rewards. Enjoy!!
Vaishali, how amazing! I take my hat off to you. This can’t have been an easy decision but what a profound one. May you be a happy family forever, a day at a time.
Warmest regards,
Sagar
Congratulations! Best wishes!
ka
This is wonderful news! Congratulations! 🙂 As much as I love your food blog, I would love to hear about your parenting journey. Lots of love and good wishes to you guys! 🙂
Heartiest Congratulations to all of you, Vaishali! That is amazing news 🙂 Wishing you all the very best in this new phase of life. Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting !!
Heartiest Congratulations!!! What a great news!! I am so happy for all of you.
Congratulations. He is absolutely precious and will settle in quickly especially with all that yummy food you will be serving him.
Congratulations! This is such exciting news. Wishing you all the very best.
Ambica
HI Vaishali,
Congratulations! I admire all three of you to have taken the step and getting together as a family. It is a big step and every child is a challenge sometimes. Have a great life together.
Wow. congratulations Vaishali. You continue to be my hero. From the time i discovered your blog, read about why you choose to be vegan, which helped pave the way to my own transition. congratulations once again and hope you all settle well for the wonderful life ahead!
Hugs
Richa
Hearty congrats! This happy post made me emerge 🙂 You are all so blessed.
Congratulations 🙂
Don’t even bother posting until 2015. Devote yourself to your growing family and enjoy your first holiday season as such. We miss you but wish you the very best.
Congratulations to all of you. This post may contain the best ‘recipe’ ever.
Heartiest Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!! All the very best for your growing family !!!!!!!!
Congratulations! Wishing you much joy for you and your newest family member.
Congratulations to you all ! I am a regular follower of ur blog and want you to know that I am so happy for you and am so touched that I cried when I read about Jay . Sincerely appreciate what you have done, giving Jay a family of his own …both of you are wonderful people and I wish you all the best.
Vaishali, I ‘m so happy for you and Desi. After reading your post I felt you both are overflowing with compassion and love and by adopting Jay you are paving a bright and secure future for this little boy.I ‘m in tears as I write to you and with deep joy wanna hug you and feel
so proud of you. I send all my love and blessings to Jay and to the proud parents.
So so happy for you and your husband!
We wish you and your little family the very best!
Jay looks like such a happy child. And absolutely adored the other children in the orphanage. They all look so happy! I am sure it has a lot to do with the care they are being given there.
Good luck!
Salute ! To you and Desi.
Wish I could do something like this as well. But will sure try to visit the Shraddhanand Mahilashram and perhaps spend some time and give my resources
Congratulations to the new parents…And wishes to Jay for a wonderful life ahead…He is one lucky kid to be eating your hand-made food everyday..:)
Wow! How wonderful! I work a lot with kids that are adopted, many of them well after birth like your son. I know that sometimes these kiddos present special challenges. It takes a big heart and lots of patience but worth it. I am sure that you and your husband will make wonderful parents!
Congratulations and hugs ! He is darling ! Pretty soon he is going to be scarfing down pizzas and become immersed in Legos. Enjoy every moment ! And oh yeah, your site is going to be loaded with cookie recipes, I am sure. 🙂 😉
Anusha
The best update ever!
Congratulations!!
A big hug to you and Jay:)
Sheela
Congratulations! Good luck — I wish you and your lovely family the very best! He is a cutie!
You know this already — you have changed this young boys life and kinds of opportunities he will have…. and of course he has also changed yours beyond anything!
Congratulations!!! He is beautiful. It’s great that Jay is now part of such a wonderful family.
Oh Vaishali, congratulations, congratulations! What wonderful wonderful news! Great to hear about Jay, and hope to hear more about him. Super news, mommy! 🙂 What does he call you? And waiting to read about the different foods you and he will make together.
Congratulations. What a wonderful journey parenthood is.
Looking forward to hearing your adventures.
Happy thanksgiving.
Hi Vaishali,
Many congratulations and best wishes to the new journey of ur lives. What a courageous step to take! The first thing that came to my mind when i read this was “LUCKY GUY”. I have known u for quite some time though not in person, but i certainly believe that u would be a great mother. I had tears rolling down. M a psychology student and during my PG visits to this ashram I use to wonder will these children ever get a family to know, will they be able to call someone mama and papa. Lucky one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a very painful and emotional experience to visit any orphanage. May god give u all guys the strength to love and be there for each other today and always.
God bless u.
Nisha.
Vaishali, Just so happy for your and your little boy Jay. Sure you are all blessed. Your beautiful journey is going to be enhanced with wonders now. The most beautiful times of my life are those spent with my son. Happy parenting journey to you both.
You and your blog are both beautiful.
Hi Vaishali ,
Congratulations! to you,Desi and Jay what a blessing in your family. I have been following your blog for a long time but never commented but today when I went on your website and read about Jay made me cry with joy. I was imagining how happy Jay must felt when he knew that he was going to stay with his parents . Enjoy your time with him .God Bless your family.
Hi Vaishali,
Congratulations !
What a huge heart both you and Desi have. Love the picture of adorable Jay !
Reading the post brought tears of joy to my eyes.
Best post ever from you !! God bless you all and little Jay as he embarks on a new journey .
omg, parenthood ! the most exciting and exhilarating experience… congratulations and join the club.
Dear Vaishali,
First of all congrats to you, Desi and Jay. You may not remember me, but I am one of those who wrote to you a looong time back. I am a regular reader of your blog for years now and got to understand you folks through what you shared with us. I had always felt you would make a great mom and some deserving child should be given a chance. You had replied back saying that is going to happen. I was waiting ever since. Today when I read this update, my eyes welled. I felt truly happy. For you both and your son. How beautiful he is, you folks are lucky & blessed, just like he is.
Happy parenting. I wish you 3 the very best life can offer and hope this blog continues to now take us through your journey of motherhood along with the yummy food you prepare and serve your child.
Wish I could hug you at this moment! Take care and sending you positive thoughts and lots and lots of energy ( you will need this in double dose to raise boys :))
Congratulations! I am very happy for you and Desi. Best of luck to being new parents. I like that you are open about it being a challenge, but kids are always a challenge, biological or otherwise; but I know that anyone as warm as you two will surely make it work.
Congrats to the 3 of you! He is adorable. A major life adjustment for all of you, but one that proves that change is good!
Congrats!!! Wishing you and your husband all the best with parenthood! jay is a lucky boy to have such wonderful parents. Wishing you all lots of happiness 🙂
Jay looks so happy! I’m so glad you found each other. I wish you guys all the very best. I think you’ll be great parents.
Yesterday night suddenly I remembered your blog an not visiting it for a while, I’m a staunch vegetarian and that’s why I even stumbled upon your blog full of creative and delcious vegan recipes. I’m so glad for you, Desi and Jay, you all are lucky to have each other, have a blessed life. Adoption is something I always wanted to do, mainly because I lost my mom at a young age and I have been through a lot, one strong feeling I remember going through even as a child is, if not having a mom takes away so much from a child, what would be the plight of child who has no one to call family. Have a blessed life, i know I will be visiting you blog more often now, you are hero and inspiration to many.
I’m so happy for all of you! It’s wonderful news and I just know that you’ll all be very happy together. Congratulations!! I wish you all the best … and happiness always!
Dear Vaishali,
This really made my day. Pictures speak a thousand words truly. I admire your strength and positivity. Jay looks super gorgeous, you will make a super family with more memories to come..!!! Congratulations!!!! So happy for you.:)
CONGRATS and many blessings to you and your growing family!
Lovely news Vaishali! Have a wonderful time, you all! And keep posting pictures! 🙂
Life would be more than beautiful with your son. Wish you all the very best for your future endeavors.
Love your recipes too.
RESPECT…
Wish you and your family the very best
Congratulations, Vaishali! And a warm hug to Jay. I’m just a reader of your blog in a distant land but exclaimed with delight when I read your post. Your deed and words struck a gord and I wish you all the very best. I wish we could all support every child in this world.
Vaishali, Desi & Jay- Congratulations on becoming a family. We are a family of adoption as well and all I can say is you are lucky to have found each other. I had tears of joy for Jay and more tears seeing all the little kids in your picture. I wish we could adopt them all and our system and procedures made this a wee bit easier. Be blessed.
Congratulations Vaishali! How wonderful for all of you. Your post made me relive our adoption story. Our little girl is 11 now, and taking over the world!
What a lovely post! I ran across your blog for the first time when I was looking for a Rogan Josh recipe and quickly saved some links for other dishes I would like to try. I am a meat eater but do like to have meatless meals. Wishing your continued success with the blog and best of luck to you and your family.
I have been a long time silent reader of your blog and tried a lot of your recipes !!
Congratulations Vaishali and Desi and Jay, He is a cute little man ! Your post brought tears to my eyes. Wish you a lifetime of happiness, joy and fullfilment ! I would also like to support Shraddhanand in any way I can.
Vaishali, I have been following your blog for many years and have tried many of your recipes.I love the way you write . Love your posts about dogs and many..I was all in tears after reading this post.
Wish you good luck for the courage you people have. Thank You 🙂
Hi, I stumbled upon your blog by accident. And a happy accident that was. Being vegan (that’s how I ended up here) but also being a mom of two beautiful boys, both adopted, I completely understand the rollercoaster you went through. I will keep on following this blog and will try out your recipes.
Wishing you all the best, all the way from the Netherlands, Eveline
Congrats Vaishali!!! Reading this post made me very emotional. Wishing you 3 the best…
I wish other kids in the Ashram end up in a great parents like you.
Hi Vaishali, I came back to look for recipes after a looong time and saw something about jay…had to search through to find this post 🙂 What a wonderful adventure for all of you!
I am just now seeing this. Congratulations to you all! I’m so glad you and Desi and Jay found each other.
I see that I’ve dropped by your post over 8 months later, and I’m so happy to read about your little boy. God bless your little family. I’m so happy you guys found each other. As one of my favourite song goes, Now there’s three (the song says two) less lonely people in the world.”
I saw this post just now.. feeling emotional. I would say only thing that you are great this is from bottom of my heart as people will talk a lot about things but no one try to do it … including me. God Bless you all. Hope you are enjoying a lot.
Hi Vaishali,
Today Sunday morning my heart is warmed with the news of your adoption of Jay, while my body is warmed sipping a warm home made kaadha. I am very happy for you and your family and of course for Jay. I am wondering if you will raise him Vegan too since you are a Vegan. That could be yet another big gift to Jay and to our world .Also I would be sharing some of your beautiful Vegan recipes on Facebook with my friends. I have only seen the carrot pudding for breakfast recipe as I have just found your website. Do you have another website where you share about Jay? Stay blessed you and Desi and Jay and your four legged friends. I wonder how difficult is it to adopt a six year old vs a new born? I would like to read if you have shared this somewhere. Best wishes to you and your family. Keep thriving. I admire your courage and your generosity. And hoping and praying for the best for all of you.