Toss the okra with ½ teaspoon of oil and place in an air fryer basket. Air fry at 375 degrees for 8 minutes, tossing halfway through, or until the okra is almost tender. The okra should still look green, and should have a slight bite when your teeth dig into it. Set aside.
Heat the remaining oil in a kadhai or wok or skillet. Add the cumin seeds and when they darken slightly, add the onions with a pinch of salt. Saute until the onions are translucent and begin to brown. Add the ginger, garlic and green chili peppers if using and continue to saute for a couple more minutes.
Add the tomatoes, mix, then add the powdered spices -- coriander powder, turmeric, paprika or cayenne, amchoor and garam masala. You want to saute the tomatoes only until they are very mushy and have let go of all their liquid, making a nice sauce. If you overcook your tomatoes to the point where they have lost most of their moisture, they will also lose their sweetness, so don't overdo it. You want a hint of sweetness in this recipe to balance out the spicy, salty and tangy flavors. If your tomatoes aren't too sweet, add a teaspoon of sugar -- it'll do the trick.
Add a cup of water to the tomatoes and onions and bring to a boil. Season with salt and add the okra to the sauce. Stir to mix and continue cooking 3-4 minutes until the flavors meld together and the okra is cooked to your liking. I like my okra with just a little bite to it. Keep in mind that the longer you cook the okra, the less green it will appear.
Sprinkle on the cilantro and serve hot.