My girl Lucy is very sick.
She loves to chase squirrels and when we first noticed her limping a little last week, we put it down to a sprain. But the limp began to get worse and we rushed her to the ER.
It has to be a sprain, I said to Desi again and again on our drive over. We should never have given in to her demands to run around with Opie in the backyard. We should have forced her to rest, however much she hated it. She doesn't know any better-- we are the parents. How could we be so careless?
We did have deeper fears: Lucy's a German Shepherd, a breed prone to hip dysplasia, a displacement of the hip bones, and when she neared her eighth birthday last September the vet warned she could be at risk. We steeled ourselves to hear it was that, or arthritis. Devastating as that would be, we could deal with it: we've been living with Opie's arthritis and hip dysplasia for four years now.
We had no idea.
Looking at a picture of Lucy's leg bones on an X-ray screen Sunday morning, the vet gave her verdict: Osteosarcoma, a malignant bone cancer that has usually spread through the body before its symptoms show up.
At best, she said, after her affected leg is amputated, Lucy might live up to a year, maybe two if we were lucky. "It is one of the worst cancers a dog can get," she said. "The prognosis is very poor."
Like all pet parents, Desi and I have always known that our kids won't live through our lifetimes. We don't think about it a lot, but we know it will happen and accept it.
But at eight, Lucy is too young. A child forever. Even in dog years, she is only middle aged.
Were there signs? We've been wondering. Was she, somehow, trying to tell us that she was in pain and we missed it? Dogs don't show pain easily: a trait bred by instinct and experience of living in packs. Any sign of pain would be construed as weakness by other animals in the pack. We don't know how long she may have been hurting before she began to limp.
Lucy is our first-born. We call her that because she was our first rescue in the United States. She came from the Washington Humane Society, a one-year-old so smart, so silly, so gorgeous and so redheaded that we just had to name her Lucy after the wonderful sitcom star.
The first day we brought her home, a naive Desi -- who she immediately adopted as her favorite person -- put her new collar around her neck, a little too loose as it turned out, and took her for a walk. She easily pulled her head out of it to chase after Polo, the doberman next door, and disappeared into some woods nearby. But bright as she is, she found her way back by herself minutes later although she had spent only a few hours with us by that time.
Over the last two years I've shared many stories on this blog about Lucy. How the pressure cooker and thunderstorms send her flying for cover in the basement. How she has figured out ways to score treats without working for them. How she literally stops traffic in our neighborhood when we walk her, beautiful and elegant as she is. How she bosses over the other dogs at home and fiercely protects them around strange dogs. How she loves to go for long drives, hogging the entire backseat. How she offers up her stomach for a tummy rub to every person that comes into the house.
I could talk to you about her all day and all night. But right now all I can think of is making her better again.
There is a difficult road ahead of us, most of all for Lucy. Biopsy, amputation, chemotherapy, radiation are words that seem too harsh for our baby girl, but I've been reading up and apparently dogs do really well with three legs. And there are dogs who, with treatment, have even beaten osteosarcoma -- a small percentage, but they do exist.
The first time I saw Lucy, she was sitting in a run at the animal shelter, a skinny but beautiful creature. Unlike the other dogs, climbing up on the bars and barking to lick hands and kiss faces, she sat quiet, too dignified to demand attention from strangers. She barely acknowledged me when I offered her my hand. But both Desi and I could see that she was special.
When the shelter volunteer took her outside so we could meet her, the first thing she did was run all the way to the fence. Then she ran back and forth along it, a creature so majestic, it was hard not to fall in love with her.
Running is what Lucy loves best. Except, perhaps, going on long drives and barking at every dog she sees out the window. Occasionally on weekends we'd take her out to the woods and she'd go to town chasing squirrels, bees and even the occasional bird (she's never actually caught anything in nearly eight years, but she doesn't think that's any reason to give up).
She can't run any more because the bone in her leg is so weak, it could fracture easily and not heal. She can barely walk. But veterinary medicine has advanced quite a bit and we have every hope our baby will heal and maybe even run again. And there is still a tiny hope that maybe the bone biopsy might reveal it is something else after all, not cancer.
Please keep her in your thoughts.
Anonymous
Our Anca has three legs and she hasn't have any problems with it. She is the boss of all the other cats and just as fast. They adjust great.
Never give up. And Go for a second opinion just to be sure. It has saved our Anca's life.
She now is very healthy. And I have learned to consider every day she is healthy and with us as a true gift.
A
Vaishali,
I hope Lucy feels better.Sending some positive thoughts your way.
Ambica
shado
Hugs & purrs from my fur family to yours. We are crossing fingers and toes and paws and tails for Lucy.
Anonymous
I am sorry to hear about Lucy's illness and I hope it isn't cancer.
I have been through a lot with my cats and dogs over the years (including cancer) and just letting them go is the hardest thing you can do.
I think you will always have regrets whether you decide to go for chemo or not. If you decide to not treat the cancer you might wonder what it would have been like for her if you had done so, and in terms of chemo; The treatment is not a cure and it diminishes the quality of their lives while possibly prolonging it no matter what veterinarians tell you.
You might not want to think this way because I know how much you love Lucy, but keep in mind that chemo is very expensive for you and very lucrative for vets.
Anyway, if Lucy needs to have a limb amputated, please consider a K-9 cart for her.
It is a kind of wheelchair for animals and it will make getting around easier for her when you take her out for walks. They aren't really for indoor use. Here's the link:
.
You and your husband are good humans in my book and I wish the both of you and your animals only the very best!
Anonymous
Vaishali
She is in my prayer.
You all take care.
Zengirl @ Happy Heart and Mind
I am so sorry to hear about Lucy. I know how it is, from second hand. My brother rescued a dog from pound who has severe infection and no one was going to adopt her. Ruby is now 6 years but has no teeth still, all food has to be ground up, so she can eat and there is no way to tell how long she will live despite all meds and doctor's appointment. My brother is making most days till she naturally goes.
You and desi should do what your heart tell you to do, as it is not an easy answer. You all will be in my prayers, specially Lucy! Get well soon.
Laavanya
How very sad to hear about this Vaishali.. I wish you strength and lots of luck so Lucy's cancer can be reversed. She is such a beautiful dog.
harini-jaya
heartbreaking indeed..shall include Lucy's well being in my prayers..God bless Lucy.
Stephanie
Vaishali, You, Desi, and Lucy are in my thoughts and I know that Lucy has had wonderful years thanks to being rescued by you. Peace and Love, Stephanie
RovingReporter
Vaishali, Desikan, Lucy, and the rest of the family - so sorry to hear that Lucy is in pain, and that you are facing such a hard time. At least you will face it together. Lucy has the best parents to take care of her. My best to all of you.
evolvingtastes
Sad, and yet so beautifully written, Vaishali. Of course, she will be in my prayers.
Gaile
Hi Vaishali - I have been reading your blog for so long, and don't think i've ever commented, but I wanted to say I am sorry to hear about your beloved Lucy's health problem, and wish you and her the best in treatment. I hope she can be well again soon! She is beautiful, and I can tell she means so much to you. My best to you all.
Anu
I have read this blog for many months/years now and this is my first comment. We have 2 rescued dogs and 2 cats and just recently, a friend had to put their dog down - so this has been on my mind a lot. My sympathies to you and good luck to Lucy in her journey to get better. We are sending positive thoughts your way.....
Sunila
So sorry to hear this sad news.
Our best to Lucy for a healthy recovery.Will keep all of you in my thoughts. Take care.
sandya
Hi Vaishali,
I am a long-time lurker on your blog. Reading about Lucy has me crying and I am typing with tears streaming down my face. I have been a kitten mommy for 3 years now, I can't even imagine life without my cats. May whatever you choose for Lucy keep her comfortable and free from suffering, that's all I pray for. May you have strength to get through these horrendous days. Best wishes,
Sandya
Skay
Vaishali this is devastating. Sending you and Lucy good vibes. She is in my thoughts and prayers.