Trim them by discarding the stem end, and then make a lengthwise slit without cutting through. Remove the seeds and ribs. One trick to keep your hands from getting rather fiery when handling chili peppers is to coat them with some oil.
Heat enough oil in a wok or saucepan to form a 1/2 inch layer. Fry the prepared chili peppers, a few at a time, allowing the peppers to sear only slightly, about a minute on each side. Remove and reserve.
In another larger saucepan, dry roast the peanuts, sesame seeds and poppy seeds for 3-4 minutes over medium heat. Remove to a blender and add coconut milk. Add enough water to make a very smooth paste. Set aside.
In the same saucepan, add 1 tbsp coconut oil. Add the mustard seeds and when they sputter add the cumin seeds and fenugreek seeds.
Add the onions and saute until they start to brown.
Add the curry leaves and ginger garlic paste and stir-fry for another minute.
Add the coriander and cumin powders, paprika if using, and turmeric. Stir well to mix. Add the peanut paste and mix well again. Add the tamarind paste and enough water to make a fairly thin gravy.
Bring the sauce to a boil and then turn the heat down to a simmer. Cover and let the sauce cook about 20 minutes.
Now add the reserved chili peppers and bring back to a boil. Cover again and simmer for another 20 minutes.
Add salt and sugar or jaggery. Stir well and turn off the heat.